Parent involvement in their children's education can be one of the biggest predictors of student success. This guide offers 19 proven strategies for increasing family engagement and strengthening the home-to-school connection. The recommendations were contributed by the educators and parents of the two great communities at Edutopia.org and GreatSchools.org.
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Written By Mark Phillips Teacher and Educational Journalist It was back to school night. I was teaching American History. A parent asked me, somewhat accusingly, "Given your liberal bias, how do you plan to teach the New Deal?" My assumption was that this was a Republican parent. My response was, "Well, as to being a liberal, guilty as charged! But as a history teacher, I have a responsibility to help students look critically at the varied perspectives of historical events. I give equal and fair time to Wilkie and other good Republicans." After the session ended, we chatted about how FDR tried to stack the Supreme Court, and I told him I was aware that FDR didn't walk on water.
There were two key variables operating for me. First, I knew my subject very well and knew that I placed my emphasis on students' critical thinking and effectively drawing conclusions, never on indoctrination. Second, I always responded to parents non-defensively and tried to imagine what they were feeling as I communicated with them. After all, I was also a parent! I want to share a few ways in which parents and teachers can build bridges when they have differences of opinion related to the student and/or the course. I'm purposely omitting an examination of teacher interactions with highly destructive parents and parent dealings with clearly bad teachers. These are not normative and, while important, need exploration as separate topics. Roles and Expectations While I believe strongly in a close relationship between parents and teachers, natural allies in educating and supporting the development of children, parent-teacher conflict is also a common phenomenon. The question is: how can conflicts be resolved and, if possible, lead to positive outcomes? An exercise I did with my teacher interns may be instructive. I gave them a fictitious letter from two immigrant Filipino parents who felt that their sons were not getting the full support they needed. A Filipino colleague who knew many immigrant parents created the letter. The interns were asked to write a response. Then I engaged them in an in-class role-play where they took turns representing their own position and the parents' position. All too often, the interns explained to the parents the rationale for their teaching approach and tried to assure them that they were not discriminating. But some understood that they needed to focus their attention on truly listening to the parents, putting themselves in the place of the parents.They assured the parents that they would do a better job of attending to their two sons. When there are parent-teacher conflicts, the factors most frequently at work are (a) control issues, and/or (b) differences in values, and/or (c) different perceptions of the student. And the three are often closely related. It's important that parents understand they can't control what happens in class and that the classroom is the domain of the teacher. Similarly, teachers have to let go of any notion that they can control what happens in the student's home. What each can do, however, is listen carefully to see if they can learn something from the other about what could improve things for the student in either of those settings. Communication and Compromise It was important for me as a parent to immediately let my son's and daughter's teachers know if there was any crisis at home that might affect my kids in school. It was also important for me to let them know when my kids felt excessive school-related pressure that was causing them to lose their appetites or lose sleep. Almost every teacher I encountered was responsive to that feedback. Similarly, as a teacher I spent a lot of time carefully informing concerned parents about what my approach was to teaching and what kind of classroom environment I established. And whenever a parent contacted me with some concern or criticism, I tried not to be defensive. It is inevitable that there will be value differences, but still there is often frustration when someone doesn't share our values. Both teachers and parents need to remind themselves that differences in values can be bridged only by respect for each other's values and a willingness to compromise. In addition, parents and teachers may have very different perceptions of a student, and both are usually correct. It's not surprising that students behave differently in different contexts. By sharing their perceptions, parents and teachers each develop a greater understanding of the student. Perceptions and Realities This blog barely scratches the surface of a very fertile topic, so I recommend that you check out these additional sources. My colleague Rick Curwin’s Edutopia blog, Parents and Teachers: The Possibility of a Dream Team, is at the top of my list. Rick often has excellent ideas for both teachers and parents. Pay particular attention to his comments about "dumping." Both blaming and defending are counterproductive to effective teacher-parent relationships. Although I’m not crazy about the titles, two books by Todd Whitaker come highly recommended, Dealing with Difficult Parents: And Parents in Difficult Situations and Dealing with Difficult Teachers. I think if we remember that each of us can be perceived as difficult when we have differences with each other, care and communication can make us a lot easier! Another excellent source is Allen Mendler's Handling Parents. It's available from the Teacher Learning Center. The bottom line for me is that teachers should feel secure in their knowledge of their subject and their philosophy, should welcome parents' perspectives and even their critical feedback, should never be defensive and, to truly take the role of the parent, should put themselves in the parent's shoes. For parents, it's important to meet with the teacher as soon as possible when any concerns develop, to share these concerns, and to listen carefully to the teacher’s perspective so that every parent really understands what happens in his or her child's classroom. And to the degree that both parent and teacher can let go of any notion that they are "right" and instead focus on mutually helping the student, conflicts can truly become partnerships. MARK PHILLIPS'S PROFILE Experts agree that parent involvement in education is one of the biggest predictors of student success. So where can parents begin? We've compiled a list of articles, videos, and other resources to help you engage productively with your kids' teachers and school. ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: OCTOBER 2, 2012 | UPDATED: AUGUST 21, 2015 Resources by Topic: Why Parent Involvement Is Essential
Opening the Lines of Communication
How Families Can Take Action
Learning More About Educational Topics
Ideas for Preventing Summer Slide
How Schools Can Build Strong Family Partnerships
I feel I'm in a position to offer some advice for how teachers can build and sustain positive relationships with parents -- as well as appropriately handle difficult circumstances. Following are eight tips that I've learned from experience.
1. Avoid Doing Battle I always log and take notes on parent phone calls, a good practice in case you need to recall the details of a conversation (or if one took place). When parents get overly angry, emotional or offensive (which rarely happens), I end the conversation quickly but diplomatically: "I hear you’re upset, but I no longer feel comfortable speaking with you on the phone. We should meet face to face, but with an administrator also present." I then report to my department chair. Sometimes, five percent of parents will consume 95 percent of your time. 2. Keep E-Mail Timely and Brief When I receive e-mail from parents, I reply the very same day. By not responding in a timely fashion, you make your school and yourself look lazy and unprofessional. If the e-mail is anything beyond a simple request, like reminding Johnny to meet for extra help after school, it's always wise to avoid a detailed exchange and request a face-to-face meeting instead. It's remarkably easy to misconstrue tone and meaning via e-mail, which heightens fears and emotions. 3. Post Assignments Online I post at least two weeks' worth of lessons and assignments online, and they are easily accessible to students and parents alike. Few things hurt a teacher's reputation more than being perceived as unprepared and disorganized. Besides, parents should know what their child is studying, and students should have a clear idea of what they will be learning. On many occasions, this planning has also allowed me to meet with parents and students in advance about how to prepare for more challenging assignments. Moreover, when students miss days of school, neither they nor their parents need to e-mail me about missed work. 4. Involve Parents in Their Children’s Education Great teachers welcome parent support and curiosity. I've lost track of how many wonderfully positive conversations I've had with parents about my curriculum or assignments. Those conversations morph into how impressed I am with something in particular that Johnny or Sally did or said, letting the parents see that I really know and care about their child. Sometimes, parents ask what they can do to help their child succeed -- and it's crucial that you lay out an approach involving their direct action. Enlist their help as another coach, not as a surrogate. 5. Prepare for a Successful Back-to-School Night Early on, the best way to earn parent support is to run a successful back-to-school night -- which, in many cases, can be a lot of fun. When speaking to parents, I do my best to bring the same vigor and eagerness I bring to my students in the classroom. I love what I teach, and I make that known not only by what I say, but also by how I say it. I'm animated, talking excitedly about my classes. All the while, I'm careful not to monopolize the short time we have together. I want to hear from the parents. I want to learn their hopes and fears for their student, and how I can support them in our collective mission to help all kids meet their greatest potential. 6. Call Home to Report Good News Parents rarely receive a positive call home. Twice a semester, I make a point to call and tell them how impressed I am with something their student did or said. It surprises me when parents nervously answer the phone, as if a student did something wrong. They are all the more relieved and proud when I have just good news to report. These calls let parents know that I care as much about recognizing success and improvement as I do about spotting struggle and weakness. These calls also reassure parents that I'm not out to make life more difficult for their child, that I'm fair in my assessments and feedback, and that I genuinely want to see students succeed. 7. Look Professional Nothing spells "unprofessional" more than a messy-looking teacher, especially when meeting with parents. Since you never know when you might run into a parent, it's a good idea to come to school looking neat and professional. I know some teachers who never come to work without wearing a tie, arguing that a visitor should never have any doubt as to who's in charge. I'm not sold that wearing a tie is essential to accomplishing this task, but it can't hurt -- and it’s an even wiser move for younger teachers, also looking to earn authority in the classroom. 8. Participate in After-School Activities This could be anything from coaching to attending as a spectator. I coach varsity cross-country, and beyond adoring my engagement with students in a non-academic setting -- which has a host of benefits unto itself -- I enjoy interacting with parents on a daily basis. We speak not only about how their child is doing athletically, but emotionally and academically as well. I can't express how often this rapport has helped me realize how to communicate more effectively with teens, both on the field and inside the classroom. How should teachers effectively communicate with parents, and involve them in their child's education? Please share your thoughts and experiences |
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